Damnit
by Suzumi Aiko
Summary: A fluffy Zutara one-shot. Two years after Souzen's comet, Zuko and Katara meet. Just a fluffy one-shot to go with a drawing I did.


It was a humid summer night as the moon rose to its highest point in the sky. "Mai?" Zuko said softly into the darkness of the grand master bedroom. "Are you awake?"

No response.

He laid there a little while before he slipped out of bed. The Firebender silently made his way out of the room, grabbing the change of clothes he'd had his servant set aside for him earlier in the day. Closing the door gently behind him, the Firelord made his way down the hall to the bathroom. He lit the wall torches and took a quick glance at himself in the large gold-framed mirror. His skin looked extra pale in comparison to the deep red ceramic tiles that covered the walls behind him and in the poor lighting the creases of his scar were especially prominent. He ran his fingers over the damaged, shiny skin on his face, his past flashing in his mind.

He'd never imagined his life would become this back then.

Zuko was Firelord now. His father and sister were imprisoned indefinitely. The Firebender still had no idea where his mother was or whether she was even alive. His uncle traveled the Earth Kingdom with other members of the White Lotus to spread the word of peace and to snuff out any acts of rebellion. Zuko saw Aang somewhat often since Souzen's comet, but they usually only met for political reasons. He hadn't seen any of the rest of the gang. He sighed. Zuko never really realized how lonely he'd become. He frowned to himself and started to get dressed. The Firelord never even had friends except for the brief time two years ago. Short as that time was, he had developed a constant longing for it. Sure, he received the occasional letter and he had Mai, but it was no substitution for the warm presence and sense of belonging he'd once felt. He tied the golden-colored sash of his old traveling clothes.

When he'd received Katara's letter saying that she'd be traveling to the Fire-nation, he knew he couldn't pass up the opportunity to see his friend. Her visit would be a brief one and he knew he wouldn't be able to get away from the palace in the day time, so when he wrote her back, he told her that the middle of the night was the only time he'd be able to sneak away to see her. Zuko swallowed hard. He didn't want to have to sneak around, but his guards and council would forbid him from leaving on a trip alone while the nation was still in such turmoil.

And he refused to show up with a barrage of bodyguards-Katara would never let him live it down.

The Firelord pulled his hair up into the regal topknot that he wore daily and after a quick glance in the mirror, decided that it didn't fit his old, common clothes. He shook out his hair, letting his shaggy, dark hair fall around his face the way it used to. He stared at himself. In these clothes, with his hair this way-it almost made the Firelord feel like no time had passed at all. Like he could go board a ship and sail towards the horizon with no one's permission. The thought of it made him feel excited and nostalgic and he caught himself smiling in the mirror. However, the smile quickly faded as guilt washed over the Firebender.

He knew he wasn't doing anything wrong. But he couldn't help feeling otherwise as he failed to inform his wife that Katara was in town. He only did so because he knew she would misunderstand. She would insist on coming or sending some guards with him. Zuko didn't want to hide things from Mai and he was going against his better judgment by going alone, but he just wanted a small taste of his freedom that he had before taking on being the Firelord. Was that so bad? Hesitation glued his feet to the bathroom floor.

He couldn't change his mind about going now. Katara was waiting for him.

Taking in a deep breath and doing his best to shake the guilt, Zuko reached up and pulled himself up onto the ledge of the bathroom window. He slid the small window open and squeezed through the opening.

He hit the ground running, avoiding where he knew there would be guards. He hoped his stable boy had prepared the ostrich horse for him like he'd asked. As he rounded the corner and escaped the luxurious walls of the palace, there stood an ostrich horse, saddled up and ready to ride. The Firebender grinned. He'd have to give an extra gold piece to the stable boy for this.

Zuko rode swiftly through the empty streets toward the city limit. He didn't stop as he passed the last building, heading into the dense forest. As the ostrich horse leapt over a fallen log, Zuko recognized how quick, powerful and fearless the beast was. He might need to move it to the more exclusive royal stables when he returned. The Firebender soon emerged from the trees, finding a clearing that overlooked the small gulf that was just north of the Fire-nation capitol. He pulled the reins back as the Waterbender came into view. Her back was to him and he watched her as she stared over the cliff's edge, her dark brown hair skimming across her caramel colored skin. He dismounted the ostrich horse, tying it to a nearby tree. Unexpected nervousness swelled up in his chest as he approached her. Zuko smiled as he got closer, noticing that she was wearing her old Fire-nation clothes.

"Katara," he said gruffly. The Waterbender jumped a little and spun around, her blue eyes wide.

"Zuko!" she exclaimed happily. Katara threw her arms around him and Zuko's muscles tensed-it had been a long time since someone had embraced him so casually. She smiled broadly at him. "I was starting to think you weren't coming," she chuckled, "How have you been?"

Zuko smiled, relishing in her good mood. "Good, I guess. Being Firelord of a hostile, power hungry nation is proving to be more difficult than I expected." Katara just laughed in response. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. Now that he was here and the moon was shining in her eyes, he was having a harder time of convincing himself that he was doing nothing wrong. It felt odd having a casual conversation and seeing her again was bringing out a lot of mixed feelings. "..It's good to see you," he said.

Katara's laughter stopped abruptly. "...You too," she responded. The two stood in silence for a moment.

"I-I mean, because it's been so long," Zuko added.

"Yeah, it has been awhile, hasn't it?" Katara reaffirmed.

Zuko didn't expect this to feel so awkward. "U-Um, maybe I should light a fire," he suggested.

"Sure! I brought a bottle of wine," Katara suggested, digging in her traveling pack, "I think you'll really like it." She pulled out the blue, intricately decorated bottle and pried it open. "...So how's Mai?" the Waterbender asked casually as she filled a glass with the deep red liquid. Zuko felt his heart start to race.

"S-She's good," he answered. Katara frowned a little.

"She **does **know you're here, right?" she asked as she handed him his glass, sounding like a mother about to scold their child.

"Well, uh, yeah, of course," Zuko lied, which only made him feel worse about the situation. He took a sip of the deep red wine.

"Honestly, you're **such** a horrible liar," Katara laughed unexpectedly, taking a sip of the wine as well.

The Firebender's hands started to shake. "Okay, fine. She doesn't actually know you're even here... But it's not like that-I just wanted to come alone and I just didn't want her to misunderstand," he defended himself. He squeezed his eyes shut-this would be when Katara would demand that they head back to the palace to explain the situation to Mai, but instead she laughed.

"Well, I don't blame you. She does have a lot of knives," Katara joked, clinking her glass against his. His jaw hung open-was the wine already getting to her? He led his eyes away from her, his face warm. "..Sorry I wasn't able to come to your wedding by the way," she apologized, "Aang told me that it was very beautiful." Zuko nodded to her, looking down at the wine swishing around in his cup. He never said anything, but he actually was a little hurt when she didn't show up.

"It's alright," he said, in spite of his feelings. "..When are you and Aang getting married by the way?"

Katara sipped on her wine and smacked her lips. "Whenever he's able to take enough free time for it," she answered, "Being the Avatar of a recovering, broken planet is difficult." He shot her a glance as she wrinkled her nose and nudged playfully at him. She took another drink of her wine, staring up at the night sky. "...I actually rarely see him," she said.

"Really?" Zuko asked, taking a sip of wine. He wasn't much of a drinker, but he was certainly impressed with this wine and was practically chugging it. "Where have you been staying then? The last time you wrote you were on Kyoshi Island."

"Oh, I moved to the Northern Water-tribe. I've joined the council there. I also help Master Pakku train Waterbenders and healers," Katara said. He noticed her cup was getting toward the empty side and brought the bottle over to refill it. Katara smiled and held her glass out, letting him fill it to the brim. He refilled his own, telling himself to drink this second glass slower.

"Sounds fun," he said politely, taking a small sip of the drink.

Katara chuckled, "No it doesn't. I know how much you hate teaching." It was true-Zuko hated every aspect of teaching. Katara had the personality for it though. She was patient and encouraging. Zuko lacked both of those personality traits so it was no wonder he hated it so much.

"Well, I meant.. it sounds fun for you," he corrected, smiling.

"Well, the teaching part is good. As far as the council, I'm the only woman on the board and being so young on top of that, it's a constant struggle to get my voice heard. Even after the end of the war, there hasn't been much of a change to most of the Northern Watertribe's customs or old-fashioned people," she admitted.

"Is that why you ran away to come here?" Zuko laughed.

"Pretty much," Katara laughed, "You're way better company than anyone in the Northern Watertribe."

Zuko's cheeks grew warm and he took another sip of his wine, which only made them warmer. The Firebender wanted to return the compliment, but he couldn't get the words out. He looked sideways at his Waterbender friend to see her blatantly smiling at him. "W-What?" he stuttered, embarrassed.

"Oh, nothing," she answered, looking back to her glass of wine, "You're just so handsome that I catch myself staring sometimes."

The Firelord choked on his wine. "W-What?!" he exclaimed, "Where did that come from?"

Katara's cheeks were a warm red color and her blue eyes were slightly glazed over. She shrugged a little. "I've always thought so," she answered nonchalantly. Zuko stared at her, shocked.

He started to laugh nervously. She had to be joking around with him. "Right," he chortled.

"No, really. I've thought so since we were.. well, since before Ba Sing Se," she admitted. Zuko's heart pounded in his chest.

"..What am I supposed to say to that?" Zuko asked hesitantly.

Katara's face suddenly flushed bright red as she realized what she was saying and how many lines she was crossing. "O-Oh! Um... You don't have to say anything. I guess," she stammered awkwardly, " I-I didn't mean to imply that it **means **anything that I think you're handsome." She averted her eyes, laughing nervously, "I must've sounded so conceited like it's some huge compliment that I-"

"Katara-it means **everything **to me that you think I'm handsome," Zuko admitted. He stood up. He needed to put a little distance between himself and the Waterbender, his feelings and urges were getting into dangerous territory. "I mean, to think that someone like you thinks that about me... You've never seen my face before it was burned," he explained.

Katara followed him. "..You don't think you're handsome?"

"No!" he yelled, spinning around to face her, "How could I? Half of my face is covered with mangled scar tissue!"

The Waterbender stepped up to him. "Handsome is handsome," she said simply, "Nothing about your face could change that about you." Zuko knew his face was bright red.

"D-Don't say that unless you mean it!" he yelled. Katara frowned.

"I do mean it!" she argued. They stood at a silent impasse for a moment as he mulled over her words. Zuko's gut turned inside of him as he tried to think of words to say or what to do. Katara's blue eyes were intensely sincere, igniting the past feelings the Firebender thought he'd long forgotten. His mind drifted to the time he'd promised to find her mother's killer, flying into the night on Appa's back. Her intensity drew Zuko to her and within the next few days, he'd taken a bolt of lightning for her. Admittedly, he thought things between them would become vastly different after that-but it seemed that Katara was content offering only her friendship. So he accepted the fact that he had earned as much as that from her and moved on. Now she tells him this? Zuko sighed at the situation. He knew that finding someone attractive didn't necessarily mean that you **like** them-but knowing that Katara thought of him that way, he might've done things differently. Because he would've known that somewhere inside of the Waterbender, there was at least a **tiny** possibility for more than friendship from her.

"Why are you saying all of this _now_?" he yelled, his frustration boiling over, "I'm _married_!" Zuko was growing increasingly embarrassed and confused and wasn't at all mad at her, but he couldn't stay quiet any longer. His heart was thudding in his chest and he almost had to remind himself of Mai's existence. Once he'd thought of Aang, his friend, his frustration boiled over once again. "And you're _getting _married! To Aang!" he added, reminding himself of how off limits she is. Katara's eyes dropped to the floor.

"...You're right," she answered, "Just.. forget I said anything."

She spun around, ready to run from him. Before he could stop himself, Zuko grabbed her by the arm. "Katara, wait," he said as calmly as he could. He swallowed hard as she spun back to face him. Her long, thick hair danced around her and her bright blue eyes were brimming with tears. Zuko's heart pounded harder as she stared at him, cheeks burning red, her mouth saying nothing.

"Damnit," Zuko cursed, throwing away all the things he'd previously told himself. He embraced the Waterbender, pressing her lips hard against his.


End file.
